I recently had the opportunity to work the NCAA Track and Field Championships here in my home of TrackTown USA (Go Eugene!). It’s been one of my biggest opportunities since graduating in March and it was a great experience.

In the last few weeks/months I have really struggled with confidence as a videographer and editor and freelancing overall. Imposter syndrome hits everyone and thats where I was. I came to NCAAs off a super basic triple header of St. Louis, LA and Seattle.

In St. Louis, I struggled. I was a one-man team and lacking inspiration. I couldn’t put an edit together, and in my sleep-deprived 2 am editing, I wanted to quit video completely. I hadn’t felt that defeated in a long time, if ever.

I really struggle to put out mediocrity, and when I feel that I am, it makes me wonder why I am even doing what I’m doing in the first place. I have a college degree, so I have a wide scope of options, but do I really?

I know I love video and cinema, but it’s hard to pretend to love your own work. So I don’t. I hope I have haters. Because I’m still a bigger hater than them.

Anyways, I came from a confidence-crushing weekend at St Louis, LA, and Seattle in to NCAAs. I was tired, unmotivated and wanted a break. But at some point in our way-to-air-conditioned booth at Hayward, it clicked. Ideas came. And ideas were encouraged. 

My boss for the week, Lauren Wilson, didn’t know track super well. I do. All she wanted was something cool, timely and creative. I was given new creativity to shoot Hayward like I never had. It all clicked.

I felt so good every day. Every race I shot felt perfect. Every field event I felt like I was in the perfect place (usually). It was a complete 180 from what I had felt a week prior.

My understanding of track and field finally felt like it paid off and everything became easy. I was fast on my edits, hitting shots, and getting my 8 hours. What more could you ask for in a weekend?

I have talked to people close to me a lot about how I want to explore other sports and leave track and field. But it does feel good that my years of track and field did amount to something like NCAA Track and Field.